The Curtain

Everyone here has a curtain. It can give you a sense of privacy. At least from eyes. Ears can’t be blocked off.

We had a PICU neighbor early in our stay. He’s 15 years old with a hereditary problem with vertebrae in his neck that just sort of float. (I learned this from his mom a few days later. English is not her first language, so some of what I was hearing, I may not have understood. But with gestures and words similar to the words she wanted to use, I mostly got it.) That day, he sat on the couch, pretty hard the way some kids do, and felt instant pain in his neck. His dad immobilized him and he was brought here. He had surgery that night to insert plates and screws to hold him together. He was up walking 2 days later (she was excited about this and shared the story with me) and the following day, he and his family went home.

Today I spent 5 hours doing laundry at the hospital family room. The first hour was waiting for a washer (there are 2) to become available. During this time, I had a conversation with another mom, also waiting. English was not her first language, so we both worked to understand each other. She has been here, mostly alone, with her 21-year-old son for 5 months.  As I understood, which may not be totally accurate, he had lung cancer a few years ago, had chemo and went into remission. He started getting sick again last October. By November, he wasn’t able to walk or move around very well. December, he wasn’t eating or talking. Stanford sent an ambulance to pick him up from his hometown which is about an hour away. Cancer was back in his lungs, progressed to his stomach, his bones. He’s not doing well, declining every day. None of the drugs are working. He needs a miracle. This mom just needed to talk and I had the privilege of being the person to hear her story.

Why do I title this “The Curtain”? We all have a curtain. They can close us off from each other. If we can’t see, maybe we close off our ears. Be willing to keep your ears open for those who need someone to just listen.